Ugh.
That’s how most of my conversations have started this semester.
Am I proud of it? Absolutely not. But it’s the truth.
I was prepping for a photo shoot one day and upon opening my camera bag I discovered that a sneaky, cottony, pair of undies had finagled their way into my backpack. They were clean (praise the Lord) but there they were — stuffed in my work bag next to some pricey DSLRs. Why was this such a bloggable experience, you ask? Because in this moment I had to laugh at myself...and cringe just a little.
How did I make it to this point? Where my apartment was a collage of clean/dirty clothes strewn about to the point that my photography equipment couldn’t escape into its sacred space without the invasion of tighty–whities. Moreover, how did I make it to this point? Where I had run myself nearly to the point of exhaustion: too tired to fold my laundry and too busy to sit down with Jesus.
I remember sipping a cup of coffee with a friend back in May. She complimented my work ethic and said something along the lines of “I want to be busy like you.”
My aortic valve actually tore.
Had I been sending that message? Have I been preaching that message even now? That my busyness, almost-burnt-out-bones, crazy-eyed-India, was something to achieve?!
I enjoy having things to do, no doubt. I like it when my schedule is full of work and friends and life-giving tasks, but D A N G, sometimes I go too far. And this season, it has definitely been made known to me how unhealthy it can be.
There is always time for Jesus.
There has to be time for simple self care.
There must be time for celebration, for sleep, for showers, laundry, work, and breakfast.
I might as well get that tattooed on myself (because I’m gonna need that reminder daily) but I’m saying it here and now to remind myself and to encourage you that there has to be balance in your life.
"We need to relearn how to power down, unplug, disconnect, take a break, and be in one place at one time. We forget that we’re not a machine. We can’t work 24/7.” ― John Mark Comer, Garden City: Work, Rest, and the Art of Being Human.
^a great read and discussion book, by the way!
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August was spent in Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, and ended in a new apartment in the Columbus. I blinked and September was over. October didn’t happen. And Thanksgiving is practically tomorrow.
Time flies when you’re having fun, and even when you’re not. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not waste any more seconds living outside of the joy of Christ. Whether that be in photography, work, classes, campus ministry, rest, rest REST, or whatever else scribbles itself into my planner, I’d rather be living my fullest in every season.
One of the models last weekend nailed it in, “India, it sounds like you’re at max capacity.”
Yep, that’s what it was. I was plugging through at max capacity, yet not thriving at all. It goes to show that busyness does not equate success. A full schedule doesn’t mean a fulfilled life and max capacity is something for your water bottle to experience, not your little ‘ol soul.
I shot well over 12,000 images this fall season and they’re sitting in their folders waiting to be rated, edited, processed, and sent off. 12,000 beautiful images. To my clients, as promised, your images are on their way! But I will actively work on them WHILE I intentionally balance out my days. I can’t thank you enough for your patience and support in this.
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It was somewhere between pulling that pair of underwear out of my camera bag and consuming the BEST, Chicago style, deep dish pizza ever (that a client bought me?! Talk about #blessed.) that I realized all these things. I’d love to sit here as the poster child for a Christ-centered, fully fulfilled, work/rest balanced life, and to preach the goodness of it all. But I’d rather be honest with you and where I’m at, in hopes that it helps us both stride towards that life.
Here’s to that dang good pizza.
Here’s to that pair of undies.
Here’s to those 12,000 images.
Here’s to taking on each day with fresh eyes, a humble heart, sweet balance, and God’s unending grace.
Soli Deo Gloria.